I just know..

--

Dear Beautiful,

I can't say that this is going to be just another year

I can't say that I'm willing to let another December 31st night just slide by into January and believe that it's just another typical yearly occurrence

Just something else that’s happened 21 times already and something that I'm completely used to

No..it's truly so very different this time

This time, I just know of how special of a person I have to call my own

This time, I just know that my heart is at complete rest in the knowledge that God has brought you into my life this past year and all we are isn't going to fade away into the next

In fact, I know it's only destined to get ever more beautiful

I just know the reason this turn of the year is ever more special is because of how deeply I see His hand in our care for one another

Believe me, just thinking about all we are makes me realize how ever more perfect this New Years will be

Even if you're so far and so distant, I know our gap is bridged because God has pulled our hearts in so closely

I can't wait to reflect on how it is that I just know how absolutely beautiful and God-centered our relationship is next year, and the year after that, and God willing, for the rest of our lives together

:]

Forever Yours

--

In the twinkling of an eye

--

Dear Beautiful,

I don't think I'll forget this night

Working outside as the sun finished its race across the sky to give way to the soft glow of the moon allowed me a chance to experience a bit of the work of our beautiful Creator's hand.

The silence of this starless night was suddenly interrupted by a soft pitter-patter of thousands upon thousands of twinkling frozen raindrops

I looked around me to suddenly realize that my dim, dark world I had previously taken notice of was illuminated

Every bit of my vision was covered in sparkling beauty

The cars parked in the driveway suddenly changed from looking like dulled metal to the loveliest most shimmering automobiles one could ever create

The house changed from a fading white that had lost all of its original flair, to a blinding white, cloaked with a dazzling radiance -- no matter where you looked

The ground looked like its maker had decided to spend all he had to lovingly place small diamonds in every direction -- as far as the eye could see

I lifted my eyes to the sky to notice that millions of these small pieces of heaven were falling all around me -- feeling as gentle as a soft touch as they fell across my cheek

To think this all happened in the matter of a minute

To think that my entire world was changed from top to bottom – gone from just a simple existence, to something completely incredible, and that quickly – completely amazed me

My darling, like that beautiful twinkling rain that I saw tonight -- you have completely changed my life into something so beautiful

I wish you could have been there with me

I wish I could have pulled my hand out of my pockets, one to point at every little thing – oh how I wanted to tell you how much you were like that, changing my lackluster days into something so exciting and joyful, simply because you were a part of them -- and also to tell you how amazed I feel at being so blessed to see such beauty like that in you

My other hand -- Well, I would have certainly tucked close into yours, knowing that you were right there with me

I wish it could have happened

But at least for now -- know I’m thinking of you continually my darling, and I can’t wait until we can make moments like these ever more real

Forever Yours

--

What Could Be

--

Dear Beautiful,

It's so true that I'm often thinking about you

Sometimes I think about holding you, sometimes about talking to you for hours on end as I can look in your eyes and watch them twinkle, sometimes about finding ways to bring out that beautiful smile on your face..

And sometimes I think about what could be if it were just you, and me

How we could spend our own special Christmas together, or our own New Years and Thanksgiving and beyond even that, just every day together

Just the thought crosses my mind of being able to hold you every night

To kiss you into goodnight and good morning

To go somewhere to praise God together -- just you and I

To one day be the one that you'd turn to for anything, because I'd be the one to love you for forever and care for you with my whole heart

To rub your head when you had a headache, far into the years of your life

To kiss away your every tear, and be the one to fulfill your every dream

Forgive me if this seems weird and out there, but with you darling I just get flooded by these incredible thoughts

I just long to see you, to spend my moments with you

I know if I miss you this much at my current point in your life, that truly that's something that's not going to change

I do hope that what could be, someday becomes what is

And my beautiful, I'd want for nothing more then that

:]

Forever Yours

--

More then just a smile..

--

Dear Beautiful,

As I tried to think up what I really wanted to tell you tonight, there's really only one thing that seemed perfectly fitting as to something I'd love to have you hear

It's one of the things I would tell you if I had the chance to hold your hand, face to face, and just allow my words to flow freely from my lips -- without reserve or hesitation

That is, there's something about your smile that makes me want to do absolutely anything to see it light across your face

I love it that much! It's true!

Though in fact, it's much more then just a smile

I can see it and realize that it's been something that has appeared when you've been praising God with your whole heart

I realize it's something that's shown up when you see a chia pet, or pigs in a blanket, or a joke from your sister, or a moment looking intently at a dandelion or gazing at the wonder of the picture perfect clouds above your head

And when it's me, when I'm the one to bring about that most adorable look on your face, that makes me oh so very happy that I can be something that special to you

I feel so utterlly overjoyed that I'm in the company of so many other amazing things God's put in your life that have made that beautiful smile of yours come out all the way since May 13, 1988

I know you had me at hello, that's for certain

But lets just say that when I saw you smile, for the first time, on that rainy saturday in that rainy city

I knew it was something I wanted to never stop seeing

Forever Yours

--

Moments

--

Dear Beautiful,

I am entirely taken over by joy at the carefully planned out moments I am soon to spend with you

I say carefully planned because my mind has already run over them time and time again

They're not particular, or in any way specific

But they involve many instances of being able to gaze into your beautiful green eyes, or cradle you closely in my arms as I give you that first long hug, or pushing your hair back across your face to give you the sweetest most affectionate kiss I can give

But beyond that, they involve every moment of my heart finally being at peace by being with the one I have so longed to be with

To talk to you, to laugh with you, to get another chance to pray with you, to sit quietly and watch the world pass us by

To feel that immeasurable connection we have up close and personal, this is what I desire most of all

For you, I'd drive another 800 miles

For you, I'd brave anything just for a moment with you in my arms, a moment to be with you

For you, I know that whatever it took, I'd give you my heart, at whatever cost

It seems as if 21 days separates us

Even though every day will drag until that moment, I'll love each one just as well

One day closer, one day closer, and soon

Our distance will be no more

I can't wait darling

I just can't wait to see you

Forever Yours

--

Hues

--

Dear Beautiful,

There's something about a painting

Something about how someone can spend hours and hours letting their eyes canvass over every hue and every particle of a work of art

Some will spend huge fortunes to be able to hang this priceless item on an old rusty hook in their bedroom -- just to be able to gaze on it for the rest of their life

Some will write books, reviews, detailed examinations of just one piece of parchment with a hundred brush strokes on it

Yet some, will pass by

Some will keep on walking quickly by, unaware of the treasure they distance themselves from

Unaware that what they pass with a lift of an eyebrow, or the makings of a scowl, brings the biggest smile to someone else's face

Unaware that the colors, the hues, that that painting possesses brings true joy to someone who truly sees its beauty

Don't get me wrong, I've before been a skeptic that situations can truly be beautiful in life, like some of those paintings

How wrong I was!

I see now that God is the one holding the brush with joy filled colors of yellows, blues, purples and greens

I believe that in our own painting, He's painted in deep forests and clouds, sunsets and stars, dreams and wonders, love -- and so much of it

I know how beautiful you are to me, and what we have together

I see it

I'd spend any fortune, any effort, any time, just to be able to gaze on this beauty that we have for the rest of my life

Even though some may pass by

Some may not realize the masterful painting done by our Creator

Some may not notice the absolute beauty of you and I so perfectly painted together

I do

And it's something I never, ever..want to ever stop looking at

Forever Yours

--

Your Words

--

Dear Beautiful,

You inspire me

Yes, it's true!

Beyond just adoring you, and beyond just realizing how much I want you in every part of my life for all time

Your words bring a true meaning to my heart, because I realize that yes, you're seeking Him the same way I am

Truly you are one who encourages me to follow my dreams for His kingdom, and pursue His heart with all the strength I have

You amaze me

Yes I lapse into thinking about the fact that I finally have someone that understands my passions and could maybe see God's kingdom that way with me, for forever

And that's you!

And beyond just understanding, you're so beautiful in every way to me

I know I wanna be there with you for the rest of my life

The fact that your heart beats like mine strengthens my knowledge that you're the one for me

Yes, God does give every good and perfect gift to those who love Him

And for me, I truly believe He's given me the most amazing gift I could ever have on this Christmas and hopefully for all my Christmas times to come

That's you!

I miss you my darling and I just can't wait to see you

:]

Forever Yours

--

Of Christmas Trees and Starry Nights

--

Dear Beautiful,

It's funny but this Christmas will be my first with someone as lovely as you

I say, "with", because even though you are litterally a thousand miles away from my arms, you are tucked so deeply in my heart that my every christmas moment will be filled with thoughts of you

I can still smell the scent of our christmas tree whose essence has decided to stay on my palm

Of course, it reminds me of you

I daydream quickly into thoughts of placing your very first real christmas tree in our christmas tree stand and how my heart would skip at being able to make you happy

I look up into the sky as I used to when I was a child, hoping to catch a glimpse of santa's sleigh as he went flying about his toy purveying business and I'm reminded of you

I lapse into a thought of creeping around early in the morning setting up evidence that santa had arrived, only for the eyes of those little ones who are soon to wake up, and then tip toe back to bed, where I know you would await me, smiling all cute like you do at our designs

Yes, this Christmas is very different

I may not know exactly when I can finally see you again, but the fact that you are so endeared to my heart is enough to give me such joy

Yes, I want to grab your hands, brush up against your cheek and whisper into your ear how beautiful you are to me, but that can wait.

And over this happy, joyous time, when we remember how beautiful the story of a Savior is to us, I'll be thinking about one more blessing in my life that's also bringing such a smile to my lips and a dance to my step

Of course, it's you

You who I've utterally fallen for

You who my heart is overwhelmingly concerned with

You who truly are going to make my Christmas even more perfectly beautiful then ever before

It's you, my darling

I look so foward to the Christmas that I can truly spend with you

If in talking about the beauty of the coming of a Savior King in a manger

Or the beauty of how God has brought us together, hand in hand

Forever Yours

--

Yours

--

Dear Beautiful,

I am, so, so, so, happy as yours

It's as if waiting for the sun to rise

Or waiting for the tide to come in -- lit up by the moon which sheds its light over the soft blue ripples of the waves

I am waiting, so certainly, for something so very beautiful

Like a sunrise that I know is soon to light up the dark skies

I can see your part in my life becoming so much greater in time, and I long for it with my whole heart

Like the tide that comes in, gently coming over the shore with its quiet waves

So I can see you getting closer to me day by day, until finally you are truly always there with me

I know I want to be the one who wakes you up every morning with a kiss on your cheek

I know I want to be the one who can grab your hand and talk about God as we look out on His creation

I know I want to be the one who can hold you tightly when you feel like crying, and be the reason why your adorable smile returns to your face

I know I want to be the one to talk to you hours into the night, to laugh with you, to pray with you, to carry you through every storm and every hurt, to be truly, your everything..

Just like that sunset, and that tide coming in over the sandy beaches, I am so certain in their coming

And just like you, and me, and being one anothers for the rest of our lives, I am so certain its been planned by our masterful, loving Father

Know that all I want, is you, and seemingly, it's always been you

My whole heart is yours my darling

And it's gonna stay that way, for forever

Forever Yours

--

A quicker heart beat

--

Dear Beautiful,

Knowing you're out there, and realizing how truly sweet you are to me makes my heart beat just a little bit quicker when I stop and ponder it

Simply put, it doesn't matter what's going on, or how life is being set together

When I think of you, there's that now ever familiar feeling of joy in my chest

I'm noticing that the hard things in life seems to bounce off me like never before

I'm noticing an inner happiness that prevails over every trouble I face

It's all because of you, and how endeared you are to my heart

Yes, I missed you alot this weekend

Thoughts kept running through my head about all the things I could have showed you, and the places I could have taken you

But yet, since you were continually running through my head, I was continually happy -- the whole time

I know that even if you're not with me, and even though I wish you were,

You're tucked away so deeply in my heart that my care for you still exists so strongly, even in our distance

It's because you're so very special, dear, and so very beautiful to me

I feel so blessed, so so blessed that God has brought you so close to me

And yes, I can't wait to see you.. :]

Forever Yours

--

My beautiful evenings

--

Dear Beautiful,

It's you, isn't it?

It's you that makes my moments from 9 p.m. on so perfectly happy because you are the one I'm going to be talking to soon after that

Truly it's amazing how already time with you is such a big important part of my day

And beyond that, it's the best part of my day

I'll find myself thinking about you from the second I wake up

Missing you from the moment I see your picture

And finally, in those beautiful evenings, hearing your voice -- that for which I care for so very much

Just your voice is enough to give me the biggest smile, the happiest moments, and that overriding peace that yes, we are going to make it through this distance

I know we will

And if just these beautiful evenings just talking to you, my ever beautiful ever special other half, are truly this amazing

How much better and more perfect will it be when I get to hold you in my arms again

I miss you, my darling,

And soon, these beautiful evenings will mean so much more

Soon, they'll contain more then just words from a distant place

And I can wait for that

It's all because you, are just so very special to me

Forever Yours

--

You Amaze Me

--

Dear Beautiful,

Did you know that you amaze me?

Forgive me if I'm sometimes unable to speak

Unable to put together any set of words because I am so overwhelmed at the fact that you said yes

I can accurately look back over my entire life and see that there were parts of you placed in all my happiest moments

How could I have known that I would find someone who would love lemmings and oregon trail, like me?

How could I have known that when I first started telling my family about my adoration for the clouds, and the deep forest, and tall mountains, that there was someone else that loved them as much as I?

How could I have ever known that when I took my socks off to sleep, and pretty much nobody understood why, that there was someone else a thousand miles away who was taking her socks off too

How could I have known when I first cast my eyes to the heavens to sing to my Savior, that there was someone, so beautiful, that loved him as much as me, and would one day call herself mine?

Forgive me if I'm sometimes unable to breathe

Unable to grasp any air into my lungs because they are already so filled with pure joy

Truly my darling, you amaze me in every way

I'll often laugh to myself at the wonder that someone so beautiful could care so much for someone like me

But you do..

And the best I have to give is yours,

I'll adore you with my whole heart, for all time

Forever Yours

--

Soon

--

Dear Beautiful,

Oh, how my heart just aches to see you

Every time you say something in that voice I adore so much, I feel it even more

I'm so thankful that you and I have such a wonderful understanding

It's unreal how perfect it is

Of course, we know how much God has pulled us in so tightly

And so, of course, He's made everything so beautiful for us

Every moment heightens my desire to see you

It's soon

Certainly not soon enough, but when that moment does arrive when I can put my arm around you once again

When I can tell you those words I've been holding back

When I can truly see all my dreams coming true right then, in looking deep into your eyes

It's soon

I miss you, I miss you I miss you I miss you

Truly once you and I are together, and for a long, long time, I'll never want to be apart from you again

Sitting with you watching the sun go down, or praying with you in the morning, or holding you close as I sit and tell you how beautiful you are to me

No matter what it is, my darling, I'm yours, and only yours, and I'm not going anywhere

And that's just the way I'm always going to want it

And so, soon, darling

I can't wait to see you

Forever Yours

--

I'm smiling

--

Dear Beautiful,

Cold cold nights have been nipping at my heels

I drive along crowded streets, busied with blurring faces all rushed in their fast paced errands

But I realize that nothing is what it used to be in winters past

Everything seems so new, so perfectly peaceful

I'm happy, continually, thinking about your adorable smile and just everything else about you

I don't think I've stopped talking about you much recently

Tonight my mom got an earful, she's really becoming a very big fan of yours

Of course how could she not be one

Yesterday my sister heard more about you, I'm sure tonight will be no different

Yet even in this busy place, when I'm in the midst of rushed traffic and hurried, angry cars honking back and forth

I'm truly not there

In fact, I'm smiling, and you're there with me, still laughing about something only we could love

You're just so beautiful to me, and I miss you so

Forever Yours

--

And to goodnights..

--

Dear Beautiful,

It doesn't matter that I can't see the stars

Or gaze upon the moon as it lights up every bit of my room

Or feel the air move against my face

No, I don't have to have all that to truly feel a perfect end to the night

Your voice is enough to freely let my heart sing before I rest

Oh how I care for you...

I want to be the one to give you those special goodnights through the rest of your life

No matter what circumstance or situation

To give you a kiss on the cheek, tell you I'll see you in the morning, and wish you the sweetest sleep

It is truly a wonderful thought

But I know that even for now, those small goodnight wishes from you mean so much to me

Just that knowledge that someone as special as you cares so much for me

You make me so happy, all the time

And so, goodnight sweet princess - may flights of angels sing thee to thy rest

Forever Yours

--

Those three words

--

Dear Beautiful,

My heart is so there

When I feel that quick pounding deep inside my chest when I hear your words of such affection

When I know how close we are in every way but one -- by actually being there

It's so special to me

Tonight, I just wanted to tell you a hundred times those three little words

But they're more then little aren't they

And yes, I can wait

I can wait until that moment when I can look deeply into your beautiful eyes

When I can hold you close and feel your heart beat against mine

I can wait for that moment

It's not as if you don't know my feelings, I know you do

But I know that I want words like those to be more special and above the rest

And you, like those words, are worth waiting for

In any aspect, or any regard

My every minute looks forward towards when I can tell you everything I've wanted to tell you

And oh, how I miss you

Forever Yours

--

Just a whisper

--

Dear Beautiful,

These quiet, soft, snowy days always seem to give me pause

I can look out over the expanse of glimmering white, as if I was watching thousands of soft, perfect diamonds boasting about their way to shine from the beauty of their Maker

It's something beyond average

Beyond normal and expected

Something so utterly beautiful and God ordained

And yet, all I hear in those wonderful moments is a gentle hush as the wind softly goes about its business high in the trees above

I've always found the most beautiful moments occur with only the sound of a whisper as their perfect musical accompaniment

I've heard a whisper of birds in the distance singing their praises as I've watched the sunset at night

I've heard a whisper of a small creek deep in the woods as I've looked up to see the sun casting its rays so gently between the trees

I've heard a whispered answer to my prayers -- As God always reminds me how His love is forever, and how present He will always be for me

I hear a whisper in my heart, every time I talk to you about laughs we've had, or moments with God we've experienced, or those amazingly beautiful plans we have for the time we have ahead of us, together..

That whisper I hear in my heart makes me smile so -- not only because it's just another one of those lovely moments I know God has been so amazing in providing us

But also because it shows me how deeply I care for you, how beautiful you truly are to me

And how perfect the fact is that, should God allow, darling, I want to be there as only yours, for all time

It’s true!

I am, forever yours

--

--

Dear Beautiful,

I thought about you a lot today

Well, maybe more then a lot

I almost wish I could step back and let you take a walk in my shoes for a day

I think you'd find you were very involved in it

My songs are brighter, my smiles much wider, and my prayer is ever more joyous

But even beyond that

My troubles are easier to bear, the storms are easier to wait out, my wounds are quicker to heal, and my hope for a brighter day is ever strengthened

Yes, it's true

Sometimes I wish that I had an easy life with those around me, something like the life everyone has in the movies

Somewhere where nobody got angry, nobody made comments strictly for the purpose of hurting, never was there a dirty look, or a disapprovaing frown, and where everybody sought joy in every corner of life, simply because God is always present!

Yes sometimes I wish for that

But when I then seek my Savior from my knees and from total desperation -- beyond a doubt He provided me, you

You who sees that presence of God in everything, you who encourage me, you who make me realize that maybe I've been right all along in being lighthearted and joyful and trusting, because you are the same! You who don't seem to have a mean or hurtful word in your, very wide, and absolutely beautiful vocabulary

Your heart and everything about you is so precious to me -- like that gem in the biblical parable that the man sold everything he had to obtain

Maybe it sounds foolish and sappy but I know I'd sell everything I own for your hand -- it's not something I even give a second thought to

I hope this lets you know just a bit more about how special I know you to be

My darling, nothing you could have ever ever done could ever tear my care away from you

If I could be the luckiest one to hold you until the pain goes away forever -- that, is the role I'd want to play with that issue

You know I want to take care of you for the rest of my life, and if that's in God's will, I am so excited for it

You are always, on my mind...my lovely

Forever Yours

--

How beautiful is His hand

--

Dear Beautiful,

When I think about the time when we will again be reunited, I can feel my heart lifting in my chest with such joy

When I pray about you, and think about your wonderful love for your Savior, a smile softens over my lips

When I turn my eyes upwards and praise takes over my soul, I feel overwhelmed by the blessing you are in my life

Psalm 36:7-9 says, "How precious is your steadfast love oh God, the children of mankind take refuge in the shadow of Your wings ... For with You is the fountain of life, 'in Your light do we see light'"

How beautiful are we that when I turn to my heavenly Father, I can see His hand in our relationship so brightly

You my darling, are a blessing, a bright light that warms over my heart

How easy it is for me to see how God has gently pushed us closer and closer

I know that when He has tugged me close enough to take hold of your hand, I'm certainly not letting go

Forever Yours

--

Worth

--

Dear Beautiful,

I'm willing to face anything if it would give me but one more moment by your side...

You, my dear, are worth every stinging remark.

You are worth every blow that attacks my heart

You are worth every trial I could ever face just to grow closer to you

And even as I work, and pray, to try to put out every fire in my life, your love is worth every moment of it

You are so special -God brought our hearts together-- I know nothing, ever, is going to change how much I care for you

My darling, you never have to fear that I will leave your side, or run from your smile, or stop holding you in my arms

I adore you, my dear. And I know that we'll work through any fire that we'll ever face, together, hand in hand


Forever Yours

--

So perfect..

--

Dear Beautiful,

My talks with you are so amazingly perfect

Perhaps in the past I may have felt nervous or edgy when knowing I was talking to someone on a deep and a personal level

But with you there is no such confusion

It's almost as if one could see a million miles into the horizon and gaze upon nothing but the road that lies ahead in the travels of life

The million miles that I see now when I notice that my travels now have such a beautiful companion bring such joy in my life

You make me smile

...do you know that?

You quicken my pace and make my heart sing in such happiness

...do you see that in me?

I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt -- I want to be close to your heart for the rest of my life


Forever Yours

--

A Glimpse Of Heaven

Dear Beautiful,

I wish you could have been there with me as I drove that lonely mountain road

I watched the clouds tumbling across the sky with their only objective being to fashion themselves a beautiful formation to glorify their creator

I wish you could have known my thoughts as my complacent face broke with a smile -- thinking about all your little ways you tell me how happy you are about you and I

I drove around corner after corner gazing at the sky and talking to our Father about how special you are to me

I wish you could have lifted your eyes with me on that final turn as the sky revealed to me the most beautiful rainbow listing against the brilliant blue sky

My words paused

There was no rain -- There was no early morning dew -- There was no reason for it to be there

I wish I could have grabbed your hand

No more words I could utter could express the happiness I felt in the the complete confidence that God had been actively listening to my prayer

He's just as happy about the two of us as I am -- I'm sure of it

Psalm 118 joyfully proclaims that, "This is the Lord's doing, and it is marvelous in our eyes!"

You and I are of the Lord's doing, I know this -- and just like that perfect rainbow, all we are is so very marvelous in my eyes


Forever Yours

--

I'd love for you to know..

My Beautiful,

This is my first letter to you in a series that I hope will last for the rest of my life..

I'd love for you to know how I felt when you first held my hand, told me you'd be mine.

The first time I saw your adorable smile; when I was near enough to gaze into your beautiful green eyes.

The first time you leaned into me and tucked your head into my shoulder; when I could hold your hand in mine as another way for me to adore you as much as I could.

I'd love for you know to know how much you mean to me, how much I want to make you smile; to keep you from ever crying ever again in your entire life.

I'd love for you to know how much my heart sings when you tell me how much you like me, and how much my soul rejoices when you tell me how much you love that the presence of God is in our relationship.

Even though we are so far apart in distance, I'd love for you to know how deeply fond I am of you.

And that, is why I write. Oh, how I will write!

I will write when I think about your smile, when I think about your eyes, when I think about your touch, when I think about your love, when I think about your faith, when I think about every single thing I love about you -- you are so beautiful in every way to me, and I'd love for you to know that for the rest of your life

My lovely, you have stolen my heart, and it is yours to keep for all time!


Forever Yours